Michael Owen says he is “not soft enough” to tell his four children that he loves them, explaining that he has always preferred to show his feelings through his actions and adopt a “tough love” approach to parenting.
The former Liverpool and England striker, who retired from football in 2013, made the admission during an appearance on the Great Company podcast with former Made in Chelsea star Jamie Laing.
Owen, 46, has four children with his wife Louise. Their eldest, Gemma, 23, is an international dressage rider who appeared on Love Island. Their son James, 20, had been a promising youth footballer before his career was ended by a rare eye condition.
Daughter Emily, 18, is a regional athletics champion, while Jessica, 16, shares the family’s interest in horses.
Although Owen described his children as the “most precious things in the world”, he acknowledged that he has never been naturally affectionate in the way he communicates with them.
“I’m not one of those dads who tells their kids they love them. I don’t say things like that.
“I just automatically think my actions will let you know that I do. It’s not a good thing. I think most people are like that.”
Laing challenged Owen’s assessment, replying: “It’s not a good thing, it’s unhealthy.”
Owen said he questioned whether repeatedly expressing affection retained its meaning, and argued that parents should not praise their children automatically.
“But if you’re saying it all the time, does it mean anything?
“Kissing your kids, taking them to school, and then whatever they do, you just say ‘well done’ all the time, even if they’ve been terribleyou just say ‘oh, you tried your best.’ No, I’m tough love.
“I’m not advocating it because I wish I was a bit softer.
“I think it’s an age thing as well. You get older and you get a bit more mature, you have more time to think about things and understand what they really mean.
“I’m certainly softer than I was, but still not soft enough to say things like that.”
The former striker said his outlook had changed to some extent as he had grown older, with greater maturity giving him more time to reflect on what his words and behaviour mean.
However, he remains uncomfortable with openly telling his children that he loves them, arguing instead that his day-to-day actions should make his feelings clear.
Owen now runs Manor House Stables in Cheshire alongside his family. Their home life was recently shown in the fly-on-the-wall documentary Keeping Up With The Owens, which followed the family and their attempts to achieve greater sporting success.
The programme offered viewers an insight into the lives of Owen, Louise and their children, including their involvement in football, athletics, dressage and horses.
